Ah I see you’ve become a mother. First and foremost, welcome to the club. I too am a mother and have created human life. I also feel permanently tired and haven’t brushed my hair today. It would appear we have many things in common. Do you want to hang out and mutually discuss how wonderful our tiny beings are? Maybe we could be Mom friends?
Becoming A Mother
You’ve given birth, your much anticipated, long awaited tiny being is finally here. A couple of weeks pass and the hustle and bustle and flurry of excitement starts to calm. Your significant other returns to work. It’s just the two of you now. You and this tiny human you have created.
I remember this well. All in all, these early days were amazing. But as the days passed by, and I was home alone with baby, a hint of loneliness started to creep in. Being on maternity leave, it’s great, no work! The only thing is, everyone else is in work and there is no one around during the day. I had lot’s of friends, but few of them had kids yet. Breastfeeding and getting out in the evenings to meet people felt overwhelming at times.
I never really knew what motherhood entailed, but I don’t think I was ready for the feelings of loneliness in my day to day life. Don’t get me wrong, I have the most incredibly kind and supportive friends. But sometimes my new reality didn’t quite fit into the social opportunities it once did. I knew that this was OK, but I also knew I needed to find some other like-minded Mama’s to befriend. ‘Mom’ friends who could relate to the trials and triumphs of being a parent, with the odd fist pump and words of encouragement when needed.
Why You Need Mom Friends
As far as I’m concerned everyone needs ‘Mom’ friends to reassure themselves they are not alone in the epic and emotionally draining journey of motherhood. When your baby spits up something that seems the wrong colour, or your toddler is acting loopy, you need a Mom friend to reassure you that ‘You got this’. Parenting is hard, so sharing the load, and venting to like minded humans in similar scenarios is a no-brainer. Happy Mom means happy baby, so getting out there and meeting other great people means more social opportunities for both you and your tiny person.
How to Make Mom Friends
- Make the first move and try starting up a conversation with another Mom, be it in your local shop or the playground. Push yourself, even if it feels a little uncomfortable.
- Remember lot’s of other Mom’s are in your exact predicament and would love to meet some new people with kids to hang out with.
- Find common ground and see what interests you share. Having kids isn’t necessarily enough to make a connection with someone.
- Show interest in their kids and include them with your own children in games on the playground/in playgroup.
- Don’t be afraid to suggest a meet up and ask for contact details. What’s the worst that can happen?
Where to Find New Mom Friends
- Hangout at the playground: I am aware that creeping at playgrounds with your kids when you don’t know anyone might seem weird, but trust me. Try and head to the playground on similar days at similar times. This way you will invariably meet the same people. Introduce yourself, and your child.
- Find your local mother and baby, breastfeeding or toddler group: I remember being sceptical about mother and baby groups/breastfeeding groups when I became a mother. To be honest the thought of arriving to a group of people I didn’t know seemed daunting and uncomfortable. Looking back, I wish I had made more of an effort. The potential for meeting like minded Mama’s from your area at these groups is huge. Also mothers who attend these groups are interested in meeting other mothers to socialise with. They will have at least one child who is at a similar stage to your child, which is exactly what you want.
- Online communities: Local groups aren’t for everyone, and there are lots of really supportive online communities where you can again meet like-minded mothers and potential friends. Message boards, Instagram, Facebook communities, there are endless opportunites online to connect with other mothers.
- Make an effort to do the school/creche run: Making the effort to do the school run means you are meeting other parents with children at similar stages to yours. Like the playground, you will tend to meet the same people from day to day. Bring your social game and make conversation to see if you have things in common with other parents whilst you are waiting on your kids.
- The Peanut App: I often joked that I wish there was the equivalent of a dating app for finding Mom friends. Well when I looked into it, there actually is! The Peanut App uses your location to find other Mama’s using the app in your area. You can wave at other Mothers and see if you have much in common via your profiles. You can add the ages of your kids too to see if you are a good match. It’s well worth a look, and can be downloaded from the App/Play stores.